So I arrive home after one night away from my family for our BAUUC Women's retreat. A group of 26 women from church spent the night locked in and had a fun night of fellowship, food and activities. It was a great get away for a mommy of 3. Glenn comes to the door and actually helps me bring my things in, I took all of my scrapbooking stuff to get a page or two done.
He tells me that around 4 PM he let Akorren take the new little hamster we have 'Pumpkin' out of the cage to be hand held by the kids, then while Akorren was walking into the study he drops her out his hands and she falls with a bump on the plastic floor mat we have under the computer area, she shakes for bit and then Akorren holds her for a while in his hands as she is still and calm, then she seems to come out of the haze and is put back in her cage to rest. Glenn said she was moving when she was put in her cage and 'looked alright'. I take a deep mommy breath, bite my tongue, and ready my mind for how I am to respond to Akorren when I walk through the door. I put my things inside, get the rest and settle back in putting stuff away and start to prepare dinner. Akorren starts talking to me about the hamster and gets teary-eyed about what happened. I react with understanding and some displeasure for him not following the rules we have of not walking around with her when she is being held.
I go over with him to take a look at her and when I see her awake I am glad, then she begins to move. Her left side looking twisted and awkward. Like her right side is trying to go one way and her left another and she sways like a drunk. Her head weaves side to side and I say to him, "...she looks alive right now from the fall but I do not know if she is normal/healthy." His eyes fill with more tears. My heart drops. I continue to talk to him about what happens when a baby is dropped and what goes on in the inside of the body. We talk about how accidents happen and that no matter what we love him and that he is a good kid. I also make it clear that we will not be sure until about a week or so if she will be alright. Akorren is now in daddy's arms sobbing, Glenn looks a little teary too. Glenn acknowledges and says sorry to Akorren for not sitting with him when he said the hamster could be taken out. (I am grateful for that as I was a miffed about the parent responsibility issue on this).
When Zhivanna returns Akorren goes up to her and explains what happened to the hamster and asks her not to be upset with him, she of course is more worried about Pumpkin and does not cry (surprisingly). Later in the evening Akorren ends up in my arms crying again about the event. We just take in the moment. After the kids go to bed and Glenn takes the dogs out for a walk I take sometime and clean out Pumpkin's cage. She is moving about but stumbles and falls over to the side from time to time, she used objects in her cage to lean on to steady herself, but she is able to eat and drink, she seems remarkably strong. I wonder if for her it is like a stroke, or minor brain damage where one part of the brain can no longer communicate to the other side, or did the fall break something inside her ears so that her equilibrium is off. I wonder at the science of it. Then my mind comes to the animal and dignity of life questions that arise as I ponder. Is this animal suffering, if so is it just, to put her out of misery? If she is not suffering and has the strength to live then can she live as she appears to be, just disabled? Glenn returns and we discuss some of our thoughts, he questions whether keeping her alive in a disabled situation is fair to both her and the children. I bring up the point that maybe this is the lesson we are to learn, is to care for animal who is disabled; the children will have to explain to their friends every time the other kids see her what happened and how they care for her and that she is the way she is because of an accident, that's how it is in life. Right now she looks good but we will not know more until later in the week. The last things that flow through my mind like in all mourning of a loss is the thought of "how in a matter of minutes one small event could change and effect so many lives". In my childhood I have deal with the death and life of many a hamster and know just what Akorren felt in dropping her. So in the end I hope we are meant to learn something from this to make us all better people. Pumpkin we love you! Pumpkin in her food dish eating when we got her 1/23/09 & running on the wheel.
He tells me that around 4 PM he let Akorren take the new little hamster we have 'Pumpkin' out of the cage to be hand held by the kids, then while Akorren was walking into the study he drops her out his hands and she falls with a bump on the plastic floor mat we have under the computer area, she shakes for bit and then Akorren holds her for a while in his hands as she is still and calm, then she seems to come out of the haze and is put back in her cage to rest. Glenn said she was moving when she was put in her cage and 'looked alright'. I take a deep mommy breath, bite my tongue, and ready my mind for how I am to respond to Akorren when I walk through the door. I put my things inside, get the rest and settle back in putting stuff away and start to prepare dinner. Akorren starts talking to me about the hamster and gets teary-eyed about what happened. I react with understanding and some displeasure for him not following the rules we have of not walking around with her when she is being held.
I go over with him to take a look at her and when I see her awake I am glad, then she begins to move. Her left side looking twisted and awkward. Like her right side is trying to go one way and her left another and she sways like a drunk. Her head weaves side to side and I say to him, "...she looks alive right now from the fall but I do not know if she is normal/healthy." His eyes fill with more tears. My heart drops. I continue to talk to him about what happens when a baby is dropped and what goes on in the inside of the body. We talk about how accidents happen and that no matter what we love him and that he is a good kid. I also make it clear that we will not be sure until about a week or so if she will be alright. Akorren is now in daddy's arms sobbing, Glenn looks a little teary too. Glenn acknowledges and says sorry to Akorren for not sitting with him when he said the hamster could be taken out. (I am grateful for that as I was a miffed about the parent responsibility issue on this).
When Zhivanna returns Akorren goes up to her and explains what happened to the hamster and asks her not to be upset with him, she of course is more worried about Pumpkin and does not cry (surprisingly). Later in the evening Akorren ends up in my arms crying again about the event. We just take in the moment. After the kids go to bed and Glenn takes the dogs out for a walk I take sometime and clean out Pumpkin's cage. She is moving about but stumbles and falls over to the side from time to time, she used objects in her cage to lean on to steady herself, but she is able to eat and drink, she seems remarkably strong. I wonder if for her it is like a stroke, or minor brain damage where one part of the brain can no longer communicate to the other side, or did the fall break something inside her ears so that her equilibrium is off. I wonder at the science of it. Then my mind comes to the animal and dignity of life questions that arise as I ponder. Is this animal suffering, if so is it just, to put her out of misery? If she is not suffering and has the strength to live then can she live as she appears to be, just disabled? Glenn returns and we discuss some of our thoughts, he questions whether keeping her alive in a disabled situation is fair to both her and the children. I bring up the point that maybe this is the lesson we are to learn, is to care for animal who is disabled; the children will have to explain to their friends every time the other kids see her what happened and how they care for her and that she is the way she is because of an accident, that's how it is in life. Right now she looks good but we will not know more until later in the week. The last things that flow through my mind like in all mourning of a loss is the thought of "how in a matter of minutes one small event could change and effect so many lives". In my childhood I have deal with the death and life of many a hamster and know just what Akorren felt in dropping her. So in the end I hope we are meant to learn something from this to make us all better people. Pumpkin we love you! Pumpkin in her food dish eating when we got her 1/23/09 & running on the wheel.
Posts
No comments:
Post a Comment